The word marriage goes beyond the normal dictionary definition. Critically looking at what marriage means, i.e. the biblical definition, you will know that marriage goes beyond what we think it is. The dictionary definition of marriage is the legal union of a man and a woman. The Biblical definition of marriage is seen in the book of Genesis chapter 2 verses 24. It says “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be UNITED/CLEAVE with his wife and they will become one flesh. Most people don’t understand the true meanings of the word CLEAVE and that’s why most people think the sacred institution called marriage is a joke. Cleave means “to permanently stick to another party”. It also means “to adhere firmly or to be faithful”.  Marriage is one of the two institutions which came out of the Garden of Eden and that is why God attaches so much importance to marriage. But most people nowadays are making this sacred institution seem as a curse whereas it is a blessing given to us by God. In this write up, I’ll try to discuss how to make your marriage a blessing and not a curse. Before we proceed into the basics of how to make your marriage a blessing, we have to know that before any marriage can be seen as a blessing, you have to have God in your lives. It is the Holy Scriptures that says that God is Love, so when you don’t have the source of love in your lives which is God then how do you want to show love? So, before any marriage can be a blessing, you have to acknowledge the presence of God then accept Him into your lives. This is when you can perfectly show love to each other.  And as we know that Love is the mother of Marriage (i.e.) Love begets marriage and without God, there is no Love. So you need God to show love and to make your marriage seem as a blessing and not a curse. Another important aspect you have to know about marriage is that marriage is not a 50-50 basis, marriage is not a give and take basis, and marriage is not entered into because of the strings of benefits you want to receive from either of the part involved. The both parties involved must know that marriage is a 100-0 affair for either them or this means that each party involved must be ready to give it all in marriage without expecting any favors or returns from the other party. Both parties must do everything out of their whole heart (i.e.) doing things with freedom of action. So, once both parties involved in the marriage can accept the truth and begin to practice it that marriage is not a 50-50 basis, and then their marriage will be a blessing. Also, before your marriage can be seen as a blessing, you must know the truth about COMMITMENT AND LOYALITY.  These two words are very strong and very important when it comes to the marriage institution. Commitment means an engagement or obligation that involves freedom of action. The little definition has so many things entailed in it. It means you are engaged, obligated, attached, pledged to your partner and also doing things for your partners out of free will. When you are pledged to someone or something, you don’t need to be forced to do things for the person. For example when you are committed to God, God doesn’t need to force you to do things for Him; you do it for Him with freewill and Joy. The same goes with commitment in marriage. The second word is LOYALITY which means to be truthful, faithful and steadfast in allegiance. In this part of the world, most people think that loyalty has to be mostly done by the women (i.e.) they have the believe that only the women should be loyal to their husbands whereas the husbands should not be loyal to their wives. Well, this is a BIG LIE. Both parties involved in a marriage should be truthful, steadfast in allegiance and honest to each other. They should be able to tell each other anything and everything. No secrets should be hidden; everything should be in the open. When both parties can acknowledge COMMITMENT AND LOYALTY in marriage, then their marriage will be a blessing and not a curse.   TEAMWORK is also another important aspect that can make your marriage be a blessing. First thing you must know is that MARRIAGE IS NOT A COMPETITION. When you begin to see your marriage as a competition then you begin to have problems in your marriage. Both parties involved in marriage must be able to work together, make decisions together, and talk about issues with each other. When both parties decide not to work together in marriage, there will be a lot of mistakes in their marriage. But the most prominent mistake in marriage is Money Mistakes. Here, priorities would not be set right, funds would be spent on irrelevant items and there will be problems in marriage. So both parties should endeavor to work together because it is only when they work together that they can pray together and when they do all this right decisions will be made and they will be less problems in the marriage. Then your marriage will be a blessing. REMEMBER: TEAMWORK BRINGS POSITIVE RESULTS Lastly, your marriage can only be a blessing when you have PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING. Remember, Patience is Virtue which means patience brings goodness and uprightness. Both parties involved in marriage must have perseverance with each other. Patience means “the capacity to for calm self-possessed waiting”. You must be patient to ask questions when something goes wrong and just not scream at everyone. You must be patient to listen to everything the other party has to say. You must be patient enough to calm the other party when the other party is angry. Patience doesn’t only have to do with the two parties; it also has to do with patience between them and God. They must be able to wait on God in order to make right decisions and also, they must be patient enough to know that sometimes God might give them “NO” for an answer. They must be patient to take that answer and wait on God y=until God says it’s the perfect time. The second word is UNDERSTANDING which means “to be sympathetically aware of the character or nature of your partner and how to deal with it. Before you can properly deal with UNDERSTANDING, you must first know that the both of you are different individuals and from different families, where you each have different background, different upbringings, different fears and different characters. Both of you are used to different things, so you must first understand this and try to understand your partner and also be patient with your partner. I know that there is no true relationship or real love where there is no fights and quarrels because that is part of a true relationship. But when fights and quarrels occur, how you deal with it is what we call understanding. Understanding yourself that you know you’ve offended the other party and understanding the other party by knowing how to apologize. This is the highest level of understanding. When you have the knowledge of patience and understanding in your marriage and they practice it in their marriage, then their marriage will be a blessing. In conclusion, I will just like to employ all married couples and also singles to critically look at these points I’ve mentioned and make use of it. I will employ the married couples to look at where they are failing in their marriage and try to work on it and for the singles, I will want them to propose in their hearts to make their marriage a Blessing, to make their marriage work no matter what and they should use this as their guiding principle. All this can only work out with God’s help, so as you work on your own part, tell God to do his own part and the Lord will help you In Jesus Name. Amen.
  Thanks and God bless